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Xquisite1

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Xquisite1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 779
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39219) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (36056)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (2582) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (3807)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

#14109722
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (6475)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (40091)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46726) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46726) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (6643)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (3691)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15015) - you deserved it (8628)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (1422)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6403) - you deserved it (36525)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)



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