Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xquisite1

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Xquisite1

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2717
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>Humanef</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:33pm<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:55am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:12pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:08pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Mansalad</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:13pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:29pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:32am<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:37pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:14pm<b>xLeeLee</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:54am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:46am<b>Garktok</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:52am<b>derpina72</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:24am<b>pancakebob15</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:39pm<b>8Dirty1</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:46pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:18pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:55am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:40am<b>mirrriam</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Desi_D123</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:54am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:48pm

Xquisite1's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (56076) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (2025)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50996) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92459) - you deserved it (14559)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (2374)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11135) - you deserved it (77362)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (6819)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (50949)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (10040)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

#15451762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (10318)

On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50288) - you deserved it (4148)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15150) - you deserved it (51436)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53146) - you deserved it (4305) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: