Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xquisite1

Online | Search for a member

Xquisite1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1623
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:56am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:13pm<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Alikia96</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:08am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:25pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:53pm<b>peacheso</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:59am<b>AibhinnRosette</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 6:25pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:57pm<b>sherry123</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:16am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:48am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:50pm<b>Triumvirate</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:26pm<b>HarrisonHarrison</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:49am<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:22am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:14am

Xquisite1's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46520) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85309) - you deserved it (13082)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35979) - you deserved it (2135)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9760) - you deserved it (72260)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (47629)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (9554)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

#15451762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (9797)

On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (3854)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13267) - you deserved it (47362)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48948) - you deserved it (3993) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48948) - you deserved it (3993) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (3279) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (4851)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

#14109722
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (8159)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: