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Xquisite1

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Xquisite1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1767
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>2lovelygirls</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Trahanan</b> - 9 hours ago<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:59am<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:35am<b>MissBubblesXoxo</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:12am<b>Ruffneck101</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:51am<b>amyyzzxo</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:06am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:37am<b>jfoll25</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:29am<b>bcoe</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:31am<b>423</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:33pm<b>evilegit</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:43pm<b>3051628</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:43pm<b>lurker_no_more</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Sexy_Time</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:18am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:49pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:36pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:48am

Liked!<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:48pm

Xquisite1's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (25782)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55189) - you deserved it (5824)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (11053)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41577) - you deserved it (2762)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53449) - you deserved it (4048)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (3853)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7288) - you deserved it (41671)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (1985)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (52214) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (1748)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)



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