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Offline (the 09/27/2016 at 9:53pm)



  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4551
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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XohXmyXjonas's page activity

Visits<b>kcpestwick</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:52am<b>sebassm</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Jamesps</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:07pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:29pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/12/2009 at 12:59pm

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XohXmyXjonas's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Love

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

by fall3nrain / 09/11/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

by siggit / 09/10/2009 at 11:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays

Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML

by misstree / 09/07/2009 at 4:23am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

by spideypowers / 09/05/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

by oldtexas / 08/13/2009 at 3:27am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 5:20pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

by ididntdoanythingaight / 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Kansas) / Love