XohXmyXjonas

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Offline (the 08/12/2016 at 7:44am)

XohXmyXjonas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4368
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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XohXmyXjonas's page activity

Visits<b>kcpestwick</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:52am<b>sebassm</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Jamesps</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:07pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:29pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/12/2009 at 12:59pm

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XohXmyXjonas's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

by Rabzouz / 12/20/2008 at 3:16am / Geek

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

by bip / 12/15/2008 at 12:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

by Guuu / 12/14/2008 at 6:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

by AudreyUs / 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

by William / 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm / Intimacy

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

by Blue / 11/19/2008 at 6:02am / Money

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

by comphone / 11/19/2008 at 3:00am / Work

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

by j0j0 / 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm / France (Aquitaine) / Kids

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

by j0j0 / 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm / France (Aquitaine) / Kids

Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML

by Andy / 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm / United Kingdom (Craigavon) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

by brebis / 11/18/2008 at 5:37am / Transportation

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

by Darkheaven / 11/17/2008 at 6:27am / Love

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

by dooommage / 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm / Animals

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

by Kaji / 11/14/2008 at 6:20am / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

by / 11/12/2008 at 3:10am / Transportation