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XohXmyXjonas

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

XohXmyXjonas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 May 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3689
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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XohXmyXjonas's page activity

Visits<b>kcpestwick</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:52am<b>sebassm</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Jamesps</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:07pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:29pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/12/2009 at 12:59pm

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XohXmyXjonas's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

#556
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (11525)

On 12/20/2008 at 3:16am - misc - by Rabzouz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8239) - you deserved it (54628)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

#511
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (20873)

On 12/14/2008 at 6:31am - misc - by Guuu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28752) - you deserved it (17688)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

#383
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (34588)

On 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by William - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12510) - you deserved it (28249)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (9124)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9346) - you deserved it (35070)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9346) - you deserved it (35070)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML

#334
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10663) - you deserved it (24672)

On 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm - misc - by Andy - United Kingdom (Craigavon)

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

#327
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (67858)

On 11/18/2008 at 5:37am - misc - by brebis - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

#321
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48336) - you deserved it (8992)

On 11/17/2008 at 6:27am - love - by Darkheaven - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (14257)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (22953)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

#754
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27314) - you deserved it (10830)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version



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