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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Xo

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Xo
  • Town/Country : Kansas
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 May 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Xo : I Is Me.

Xo's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Xo's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

#5022453 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (27435)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (5489)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (62084) - you deserved it (4824)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

#4417432 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (7786) - you deserved it (32683)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats & turntable scratches. FML

#4344107 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (4990)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (41082) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML

#4222573 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (4108)

On 08/02/2009 at 2:11am - love - by Devin (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

#4208368 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (6693) - you deserved it (36217)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

#4207325 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (43796) - you deserved it (9280)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Maria39018 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

#4206061 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (2921)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (417)

I agree, your life sucks (56821) - you deserved it (11485)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (35106) - you deserved it (6733)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (53421)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (58140) - you deserved it (3852)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (50653) - you deserved it (5424)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States



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