Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XmyviolentheartX

Search for a member

XmyviolentheartX
  • Town/Country : US of A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1772
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About XmyviolentheartX : Hi.



Bye.

XmyviolentheartX's last visitors

Allornoneqyka1210ToxicSilenceLanguage_girl97elevensysixchippa

XmyviolentheartX's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of XmyviolentheartX's badges

XmyviolentheartX's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11503) - you deserved it (55296)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41199) - you deserved it (4095)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (51118)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (6616)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (2853)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

#16605468
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (3085)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:47am - love - by Username - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (45545)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46323) - you deserved it (7239)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML

#16571966
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11007) - you deserved it (36404)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Liz - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (4121)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (4121)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (11959)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48578) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48578) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: