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XmyviolentheartX

Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 6:59pm) | Search for a member

XmyviolentheartX

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2464
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About XmyviolentheartX : Hi.



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XmyviolentheartX's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML

#16693545
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (6492)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:43am - intimacy - by - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65394) - you deserved it (11517)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

#16676929
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (3281)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (57939)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (57939)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44141) - you deserved it (4356)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12362) - you deserved it (54238)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37389) - you deserved it (7277)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (3000)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

#16605468
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43151) - you deserved it (3440)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:47am - love - by Username - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20806) - you deserved it (47681)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50358) - you deserved it (7821)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42405) - you deserved it (5542)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML

#16571966
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11657) - you deserved it (37576)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Liz - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (5524)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)



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