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XmyviolentheartX's favorite FMLs
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:30am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
by ugh / 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
by jake / 08/12/2012 at 11:49am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
by FlorenceD / 08/12/2012 at 12:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Deaththreat101 / 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML
by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kklaucen14 / 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals
by kumbuck3t15 / 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…