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Offline (the 01/21/2015 at 3:02am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4811
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About XmyviolentheartX : Hi.


XmyviolentheartX's page activity

Visits<b>lovecottoncandy</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 6:57pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 10:22am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:15am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:20pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:36pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 4:52pm<b>QuaDECH</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:01pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:18am<b>omgpp</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:04am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:03am<b>harbenm</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:58am<b>Scotticus117</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:21pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:21pm<b>SouthSiderx3</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 4:30am<b>Allornone</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:14pm

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XmyviolentheartX's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

by ipayyourbillsgorramit / 08/24/2012 at 7:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Health

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

by fet / 08/23/2012 at 10:30am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

by WTF / 08/22/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

by goodbyefriend / 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

by Jessica / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Kids