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About XmyviolentheartX : Hi.
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XmyviolentheartX's favorite FMLs
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by darawbs / 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 11:33am / Miscellaneous
by thankshun13 / 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Lauraborealous / 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by holymoly / 09/05/2012 at 2:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML
by damnit. / 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…