XmyviolentheartX

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/21/2015 at 3:02am)

XmyviolentheartX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4271
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About XmyviolentheartX : Hi.



Bye.

XmyviolentheartX's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:20pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:36pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 4:52pm<b>QuaDECH</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:01pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:18am<b>omgpp</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:04am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:03am<b>harbenm</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:58am<b>Scotticus117</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:21pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:21pm<b>SouthSiderx3</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 4:30am<b>Allornone</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:14pm<b>qyka1210</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 10:39am<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 11:27pm<b>haydeneld</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 8:24am<b>Ed19602</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:12am

XmyviolentheartX's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of XmyviolentheartX's badges

XmyviolentheartX's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 8:12am / United States / Love

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

by DCarreon / 10/04/2012 at 3:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

by GamerTag / 10/02/2012 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2012 at 11:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

by MT / 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm / Finland / Love

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

by Birdwatcher / 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals