Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xivion

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Xivion

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 May 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2596
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Xivion : I enjoy reading FML when I'm bored it is always easy to pass the time this way. back when FML had pages I read all the way back to the very last page... might have missed a few here and there but I'm pretty sure I've read em all haha. about me? well I'm into pc gaming, graphic design, and sci-fi TV series, movies, and anime.

Xivion's page activity

Visits<b>Vitani_Verci</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:04pm<b>Jflowers9296</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:56am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:05pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:37pm<b>johannah1993</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:36pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:44pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:03am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:24pm<b>FluffyPandas156</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:06am<b>josh8215</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:47am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:21pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:54pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:47pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:07am<b>whitechick305</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>coraline123c</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 4:39pm

Xivion's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Xivion's badges

Xivion's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (1717)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (5199)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

#21514487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19549) - you deserved it (1496)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm - misc - by Mellamononeyobiz (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

#21511386
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20292) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (California)

Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML

#21510144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (1773)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:28am - work - by fucking fuck off (man) - United States

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

#21504229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#21501049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (1573)

On 12/07/2015 at 8:28am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

#21488577
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

#21488178
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (1642)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm - animals - by damaged - United States (California)

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

#21488023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm - love - by Wtf -

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

#21487297
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (1705)

On 11/02/2015 at 10:26am - misc - by racello13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

#21484127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12623) - you deserved it (29578)

On 10/25/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

#21473108
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21486) - you deserved it (5228)

On 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by oops - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

#21465694
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22576) - you deserved it (7993)

On 09/07/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Blackshadows (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: