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Xilch

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Xilch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1539
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xilch's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Xilch's badges

Xilch's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (25099)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (4190)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (3176)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42390) - you deserved it (10757)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (7479)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (18236)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (3145)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (3943)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (4529)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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