Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XcuzimsotiredX

Search for a member

XcuzimsotiredX

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 November 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 796
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About XcuzimsotiredX : Bismexy polyamorous BVB fan. absolutely Greenday OBSESSED. I'm socially awkward so gimme a break >.<
I'm friendly I swear I don't bite...
I currently have 2 boys I adore but I lean towards girls as far as physical attraction...
I'm a dork in many ways.
I talk to anyone until you give me a reason not to.
I am Wiccan.
CHECK OUT LOSS OF EFFECT THEY ARE LOCAL AND THEY ROCK.
My tumblr URL is crashing-on-the-best-days.tumblr.com

XcuzimsotiredX's page activity

Visits<b>jsgervais84</b> - yesterday at 9:41am<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:52pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:25am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:00am<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:34am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:34am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:00am<b>EssaSmiley</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:47pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:04pm<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:38am<b>anrou8</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:10am<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:23am<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:09pm<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:08pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:38pm<b>orbit</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:35am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:45pm

XcuzimsotiredX's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of XcuzimsotiredX's badges

XcuzimsotiredX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45987) - you deserved it (5111)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50738) - you deserved it (7124)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49572) - you deserved it (9926)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41377) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (47578)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60995) - you deserved it (8678)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (9276)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (19849)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38338) - you deserved it (10693)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34640) - you deserved it (27983)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (3865)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: