Xanster82

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Xanster82

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 42085
  • Number of comments : 234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>Devin143</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:45pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:44am<b>xxfacetimexx</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:13am<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:39pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:50am<b>cabb30</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:20am<b>swash984</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:39pm<b>special_Kaye</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:37am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:21am<b>DylanConnell</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:47pm<b>sayhisoph</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:19pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:53pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:11am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:07am<b>ajk168</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:22am<b>Zatert</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:16pm

Fucked!<b>Devin143</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:45am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:27pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

by :'( / 09/08/2015 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

by occam's pube-razor / 09/05/2015 at 12:26am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my boss told me that the company will be hiring a programmer for our department. I had the idea for the position when we went over my 3-year career path last month, but it wasn't approved. I now get to look over résumés from other people applying for my dream job. FML

by Not a programmer yet / 09/01/2015 at 11:30am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 8:35am / Australia / Health

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 2:32am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

by jarkleflob / 08/16/2015 at 1:49pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:49am / Intimacy

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

by RobotUnicorn1209 / 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

by Why Me / 08/12/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML

by TheDenmarkian / 08/04/2015 at 5:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy