Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Online | Search for a member

Xanster82

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 25737
  • Number of comments : 214
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>sswagyP</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:50pm<b>osr215</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:36pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:30am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:55pm<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:35pm<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:41am<b>defuck</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:23pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:51am<b>diving</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:41am<b>inode</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:11am<b>lashitskee_71</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:45pm<b>boeglie</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Iceman1130</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Grandmastasexy</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:23pm

Xanster82's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (6165)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (20287)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (6789)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56190) - you deserved it (4521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (4973)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (4973)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (10354)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41495) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32187) - you deserved it (8185)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24689) - you deserved it (9172)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45543) - you deserved it (5940) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (17047)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (11351)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: