About Xanster82 : Fatty.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (885)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (2696)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (1043)
On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (5949)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (16430)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (1208)
On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (4047)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (3198)
On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11868) - you deserved it (1331)
On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)
Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (15704)
Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm - health - by onorexveritas - United States (California)
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24297) - you deserved it (7313)
On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (1519)
On 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15539) - you deserved it (2526)
On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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