Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Online | Search for a member

Xanster82

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 25793
  • Number of comments : 214
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:26pm<b>sswagyP</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:50pm<b>osr215</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:36pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:30am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:55pm<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:35pm<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:41am<b>defuck</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:23pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:51am<b>diving</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:41am<b>inode</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:11am<b>lashitskee_71</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:45pm<b>boeglie</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Iceman1130</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Grandmastasexy</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:23pm

Xanster82's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53448) - you deserved it (4048)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63163) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55967) - you deserved it (32929)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43957) - you deserved it (25641)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (4054)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47140) - you deserved it (5287)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (38013)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47898) - you deserved it (7486)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (73292)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50610) - you deserved it (8684)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (10927)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (6216)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50381) - you deserved it (6725)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41702) - you deserved it (8903)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56870) - you deserved it (12742)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: