Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Search for a member

Xanster82
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 12427
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's last visitors

Glitter_taco_TiffGreenFuji76delaneylukeboredguyyyCholoChinoLONERANGER44Jessj958

Xanster82's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20168) - you deserved it (1566)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (15036)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (1590)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13769) - you deserved it (2321)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (4129)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36210)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

#20120587
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (2988)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18267) - you deserved it (1350)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (2075)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7873) - you deserved it (25992)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (5157)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16710) - you deserved it (1362)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14245) - you deserved it (1145)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (3964)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: