About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 6:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 12:28am / United States (Delaware) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/05/2015 at 4:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
by Queerbait / 11/05/2015 at 1:52am / Australia / Love
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
by downgirl / 11/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
by duckthisspit / 10/31/2015 at 11:23pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by guessthatsatrickthen / 10/31/2015 at 1:19pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
by Fat Jon / 10/29/2015 at 3:43pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 11:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
by haunted / 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by CalebLawrence / 10/22/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MeaganElizabethM / 10/11/2015 at 8:31am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 2:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Health