Xanster82

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Xanster82

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 45947
  • Number of comments : 235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 6:37am<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 4:32pm<b>Devin143</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:45pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:44am<b>xxfacetimexx</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:13am<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:39pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:50am<b>cabb30</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:20am<b>swash984</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:39pm<b>special_Kaye</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:37am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:21am<b>DylanConnell</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:47pm<b>sayhisoph</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:19pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:53pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:11am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>Devin143</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:45am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:27pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, I fell down the stairs of my apartment building because I thought my cat was a ghost. FML

by Austin / 06/17/2016 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

by Ophelia / 06/08/2016 at 12:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML

by Fish Breath / 06/03/2016 at 6:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

by eebie jeebies / 05/30/2016 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 10:20pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML

by Ew / 05/26/2016 at 9:02am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 10:05am / Work

Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML

by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 10:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 10:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health