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Xanster82

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Xanster82

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21740
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6669) - you deserved it (26363)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (6449)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (67735)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37721) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10270) - you deserved it (18914)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (2426)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

#1288
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17864) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5536) - you deserved it (35268)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49905) - you deserved it (6948)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

#998
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14677) - you deserved it (5465)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by ana9 - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you deserved it (26819)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12624) - you deserved it (32530)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)



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