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Xanster82

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Xanster82
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 18337
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14817) - you deserved it (65962)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (4893)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (17471)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

#1288
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (1937)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4361) - you deserved it (30391)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47710) - you deserved it (6603)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

#998
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10901) - you deserved it (4570)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by ana9 - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6450) - you deserved it (25292)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11860) - you deserved it (31187)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16990) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (2936)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)



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