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Xanster82

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Xanster82

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 24507
  • Number of comments : 214
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40781) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (4954)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9232) - you deserved it (52805)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (9238)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you deserved it (4235)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (5513)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (9811)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (5776)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (4393)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6710) - you deserved it (26478)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (6704)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15567) - you deserved it (67929)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (5221)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10313) - you deserved it (19026)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)



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