Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Xanster82

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 34669
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>kyranstar</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:04pm<b>EvAN_117</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:12am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:10am<b>nicofluff</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:22pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:27pm<b>BWAHA</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:44pm<b>DuncanHills</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:21am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:25pm<b>felipe2342</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:41pm<b>savagetitan</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:24am<b>duduv2</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:00am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:07pm<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:11am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>ImZacko</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:08am<b>Rented_eyebrows</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:34pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:17pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (13284)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (34337)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59167) - you deserved it (5530)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (8183)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (8807)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47200) - you deserved it (11951)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44552) - you deserved it (8317)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114275) - you deserved it (10576)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42323) - you deserved it (13286)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (3171)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

#60541
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68665) - you deserved it (3823)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by mynameisnotdrew (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70221) - you deserved it (5530)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
516 comments

I agree, your life sucks (252771) - you deserved it (86625)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

#55512
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33309) - you deserved it (5621)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:26pm - health - by Loot (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: