Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Offline (53 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Xanster82

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21175
  • Number of comments : 209
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>asims1140</b> - 4 hours ago<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:48pm<b>td8263</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:16pm<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:40pm<b>nathan16194</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:23pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:02am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:52am<b>HoranHugs</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Starcatch77</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:00pm<b>ddeveshh</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:40am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:37am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:30am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:08pm<b>LONERANGER44</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:26am<b>okcnation</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:22pm<b>SammyS2012</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 9:06am

Xanster82's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15778) - you deserved it (4365)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14909) - you deserved it (66261)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (5094)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9706) - you deserved it (17640)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16907) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

#1288
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16700) - you deserved it (1955)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4402) - you deserved it (30678)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48003) - you deserved it (6623)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

#998
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14361) - you deserved it (5401)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by ana9 - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (26367)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11952) - you deserved it (31363)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17182) - you deserved it (5859)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: