About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML
by panicromanceX3 / 04/26/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by Nicked / 04/25/2009 at 7:50am / Israel / Money
by CollegeGrad / 04/25/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML
by baddream / 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML
by whatthehell / 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML
by raerae / 04/24/2009 at 3:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Miscellaneous
Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML
by happybirthday / 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals
by RockedSystem / 04/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
by misterhippo / 04/22/2009 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML
by imanidiot / 04/19/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Money
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy