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Xanster82

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Xanster82
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 18525
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6176) - you deserved it (23465)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50853) - you deserved it (8812)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (4538)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8220) - you deserved it (49367)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (8467)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14683) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (5036)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (9390)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (5028)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5452) - you deserved it (23046)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (4338)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14822) - you deserved it (65984)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States



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