About Xanster82 : Fatty.
Xanster82's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Xanster82's favorite FMLs
by oops / 05/18/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by not4geeks / 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML
by ballerphilip23 / 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm / Austria (Wien) / Transportation
Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
by badboyfriends / 05/15/2009 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Loser / 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
by Wormy / 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for mother's day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML
by Anon / 05/10/2009 at 8:36am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by LadyLuck / 05/10/2009 at 1:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML
by busybee / 05/09/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
by Jeremy / 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML
by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health