Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Online | Search for a member

Xanster82

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 22580
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:09am<b>sspence</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:52am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:10pm<b>rodns</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:34pm<b>sebascat4ever</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:05pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:17am<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:16am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:34pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:39am<b>eleven22</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:08am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:37am<b>shainj78</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:30pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:57am<b>peek_a_boo1230</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:25pm<b>xIlluminated</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:01am<b>dsw144</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:26am<b>WickedBooger</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:57pm

Xanster82's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48019) - you deserved it (7816)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you deserved it (7201)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (48744)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162291) - you deserved it (47414)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47376) - you deserved it (7926)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (4913)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (2388)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79515) - you deserved it (24687)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11381) - you deserved it (40894)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

#15703
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47199) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by YeahWhatOkay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62987) - you deserved it (7841)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (6170)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

#14357
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (6080)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by scatter00x (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (5342)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: