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Xanster82

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Xanster82
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 18544
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (7549)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76189) - you deserved it (23629)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30910) - you deserved it (2182)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (38669)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

#15703
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45504) - you deserved it (4014)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by YeahWhatOkay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60635) - you deserved it (7577)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (5321)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

#14357
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (5596)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by scatter00x (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (4892)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

#13891
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (6720)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by notpreggers (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2743)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266720) - you deserved it (49536)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (24058)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)



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