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Xanster82

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Xanster82
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 18430
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (7486)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100250) - you deserved it (9010)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (12058)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (2488)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

#60541
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62787) - you deserved it (3328)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by mynameisnotdrew (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62258) - you deserved it (4821)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213889) - you deserved it (73290)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

#55512
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (5119)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:26pm - health - by Loot (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8134) - you deserved it (56857)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (5291)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (7103)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (7041)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (44497)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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