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Xanster82

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Xanster82

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 24679
  • Number of comments : 214
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

#202745
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (43832)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by Fantastic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (138691)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

#187356
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46361) - you deserved it (14252)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62299) - you deserved it (17130)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML

#175270
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95129) - you deserved it (10291)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by groomfail (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50146) - you deserved it (8287)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81793) - you deserved it (14039)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1164941) - you deserved it (125754)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML

#154846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (46489)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by paige (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12280) - you deserved it (68699)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17955) - you deserved it (49036)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (50097)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML

#141984
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55914) - you deserved it (11350)

On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57690) - you deserved it (6912)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (66915)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)



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