About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML
by dogs_and_toucans / 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML
by szinna / 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by AllyCat / 06/07/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by thedogkisser / 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML
by layout / 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
by ether10 / 06/04/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
by rollerSWEETness / 06/03/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
by fallsdownplenty45 / 06/02/2009 at 7:08am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
by sierraisfucked / 06/02/2009 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous