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Xanster82

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Xanster82

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 22415
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

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Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (48033)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17762) - you deserved it (50088)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML

#141984
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55763) - you deserved it (11324)

On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56726) - you deserved it (6780)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25459) - you deserved it (66199)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

#104112
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (11066)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:02pm - health - by amandapurple (woman) - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (78072)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

#98933
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54113) - you deserved it (3773)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm - health - by Vince (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16650) - you deserved it (23684)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44092) - you deserved it (22625)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (12579)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16024) - you deserved it (31775)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2164)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55528) - you deserved it (5206)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41385) - you deserved it (7679)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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