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Xanster82

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Xanster82

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 37264
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:26pm<b>themartonfi</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:03am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:23pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:13pm<b>antonio_bob</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:33am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:19am<b>RubenB</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:09am<b>Bailes1992</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:56am<b>edmunson</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:05am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:02am<b>rkphillips72</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:28pm<b>kemblea</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Loving_Life98McK</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:02pm<b>acevango</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36pm<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:41pm<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:51pm

Fucked!<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:27pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74375) - you deserved it (19557)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19735) - you deserved it (46909)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (172501) - you deserved it (26458)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72221) - you deserved it (9638)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

#1525819
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13586) - you deserved it (60899)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by KMilly (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

#1525612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58056) - you deserved it (4200)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95621) - you deserved it (15202)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59286) - you deserved it (3420)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

#1474084
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48530) - you deserved it (18170)

On 04/29/2009 at 9:34pm - kids - by GirlinGreen - United States (Washington)

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (48956)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

#1449729
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75045) - you deserved it (4862)

On 04/29/2009 at 5:40am - health - by Mars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59473) - you deserved it (11448)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

#1435324
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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