Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Online | Search for a member

Xanster82

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 31987
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:08pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:03am<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:26am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:18am<b>Timmster007</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:58am<b>johj</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:24pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>casey_ct</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:24am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:36am<b>ZeusBeDubsteppin</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:37am<b>Kurby14</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:04pm<b>ziggysmommy201</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:31pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:36pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 11:39am<b>Sneado</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:02am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Trinidad727</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:06am<b>acg7</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:00am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

#622257
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99305) - you deserved it (8702)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44916) - you deserved it (24354)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19781) - you deserved it (82132)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

#573136
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67160) - you deserved it (7072)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:43am - health - by bridalqueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an excellent conversation with this guy I met on a gay dating site. We really hit it off well and had a lot in common. We got to the point where he asked me for my picture. I showed it to him and he stopped responding. FML

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68861) - you deserved it (10305)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (63261)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (249701) - you deserved it (32394)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (63483)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

#506180
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59163) - you deserved it (16339)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by teriyaki124 - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71442) - you deserved it (11911)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

#483847
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93702) - you deserved it (7437)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: