About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML
by szinna / 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by AllyCat / 06/07/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by thedogkisser / 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML
by layout / 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
by ether10 / 06/04/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
by rollerSWEETness / 06/03/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
by fallsdownplenty45 / 06/02/2009 at 7:08am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
by sierraisfucked / 06/02/2009 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
by TeeJay / 06/01/2009 at 10:06am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…