About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
by feminist / 06/17/2009 at 11:25am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Money
Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML
by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
by yashmoshin1 / 06/17/2009 at 10:06am / United States / Love
by rileym797 / 06/17/2009 at 2:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Slash / 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 7:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML
by idiotfriend / 06/16/2009 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
by Aerostar / 06/16/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
by Hotdamnthisismyjam / 06/15/2009 at 8:32pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
by skreweduP / 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…