Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 35312
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>tommyh92</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:00pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 10:22am<b>brichwine</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:57am<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:50am<b>romegatekeeper</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 7:20pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:30pm<b>cjtm98</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:50am<b>kyranstar</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:04pm<b>EvAN_117</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:12am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:10am<b>nicofluff</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:22pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:27pm<b>BWAHA</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:44pm<b>DuncanHills</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:21am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:25pm<b>felipe2342</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:41pm<b>savagetitan</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:24am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (2411)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (4238)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (2481)

On 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by RobotUnicorn1209 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (2629)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28255) - you deserved it (2508)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (1548)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (1610)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (3139)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:15am - love - by UnfortunatelySingle (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33852) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (7970)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: