Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

Xanster82

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 37165
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's page activity

Visits<b>themartonfi</b> - yesterday at 12:03am<b>hussamhasi</b> - yesterday at 9:23pm<b>s1s1</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>Trollx</b> - yesterday at 12:13pm<b>antonio_bob</b> - yesterday at 11:33am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:19am<b>lightning20</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:06am<b>RubenB</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:09am<b>Bailes1992</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:56am<b>edmunson</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:05am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:02am<b>rkphillips72</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:28pm<b>kemblea</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Loving_Life98McK</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:02pm<b>acevango</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:36pm<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:41pm<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:18pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:51pm

Fucked!<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>casey_ct</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:03am

Xanster82's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

#21507528
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (1590)

On 12/25/2015 at 1:28am - misc - by imahater07 -

Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

#21507378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by Kat - Australia

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

#21506801
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (3348)

On 12/23/2015 at 4:06am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML

#21505447
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21515) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/19/2015 at 9:30am - animals - by shibs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (5451)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

#21502739
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (2303)

On 12/11/2015 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

#21502621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm - love - by strictly cum prancing (woman) - United States

Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML

#21500277
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/05/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

#21500213
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1595)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I grazed my hand over the bottom of my desk's keyboard tray, and found something sticky. I gagged when I realized it was jizz, and I immediately washed my hands and wiped everything. I then checked my browser history, which was full of porn. Thanks, roomie. FML

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

#21499337
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML

#21496649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (3496)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:30pm - kids - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML

#21495827
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (8814)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: