About Xanster82 : Fatty.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Xanster82's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to use the video editing software on my computer for a group project. It then wanted me to purchase another program that cost over $130. One of my teammates told me to buy it, because, "I could afford to skip a few lunches." FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2016 at 8:17am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Bonngoo / 11/17/2016 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML
by Rosie J. / 11/09/2016 at 9:45pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by kmtau / 11/09/2016 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML
by daughter in law / 11/08/2016 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, it's Halloween and my boss changed his mind at the last minute, telling us we're no longer allowed to carve pumpkins in our lunch hour because, "It would be too distracting". What are we supposed to do with 12 pumpkins now? FML
Today, I got yelled at by a man for not opening my store 10-15 minutes before the scheduled opening time, which made his 84-year-old wife shit her pants waiting to get in. It didn't matter when I explained I had no way to know she needed to use the restroom. FML
by mandosfriend / 10/23/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was at the local drive-thru with my boyfriend. While we were picking up the food, the asswipe at the window thought it hilarious to copy the scene from "American Beauty" and pretend that we were a couple and that I was cheating on him. My actual boyfriend believed it and won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
by Cow lover / 10/12/2016 at 10:13am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML
by The_Life / 10/12/2016 at 9:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek
by Anonymous / 10/03/2016 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by DabTheFuckOut / 09/16/2016 at 3:35pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy