Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xanster82

Search for a member

Xanster82
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 March 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 18297
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Xanster82 : Fatty.

Xanster82's last visitors

NarttuRabbidIbanezxDochxhotdaddydeathpoststoasty_narwalsarachnis1207AlaskanGrob02saudor

Xanster82's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xanster82's badges

Xanster82's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

#21109576
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (17842)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (13219) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (17074)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48875) - you deserved it (10474)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my auto insurance company to try to get some discounts and lower my rate. I ended up adding $30 to my monthly payment. FML

#21021391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (12042)

On 01/08/2014 at 2:03pm - money - by Can2 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (5437)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51170) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51435) - you deserved it (4225)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34583) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51240) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (3267)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (16989)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (37122)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (2572)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: