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Xandrick

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Xandrick
  • Town/Country : Casselberry, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 August 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 1089
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Xandrick's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Xandrick's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML

#9175819
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (16624)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34964) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML

#9139236
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (2458)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by latenightbite - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (4856)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (3918)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37254) - you deserved it (8008)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (3952)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (2625)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (1658)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (7364)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8144) - you deserved it (24179)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17365) - you deserved it (8685)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11112) - you deserved it (14588)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)



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