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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (13425)
On 03/18/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (2558)
On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27362) - you deserved it (2297)
On 03/16/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by latenightbite - United States
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (5443)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (3965)
On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (3117)
On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (6600)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (3903)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27526) - you deserved it (2513)
On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (2913)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (1232)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (6056)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6577) - you deserved it (17487)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15309) - you deserved it (8264)
On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9222) - you deserved it (10310)
On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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