Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xandr96

Offline (the 12/08/2014 at 9:20pm) | Search for a member

Xandr96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1873
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Xandr96 : Profile stalker...

Xandr96's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Xandr96's badges

Xandr96's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken . The nurse mentioned how pronounced an easy to see mah veins are . I guess that explain why she missed five times in a row . I'm surprised mah arm doesn't look lyk a heroin addict's right now . FML

#21222027
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (2741)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got married . My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heretfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there . So was my mother . FML

#21160325
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41775) - you deserved it (4245)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

TODAY , 15-YEAR-OLD SON TOLD ME THAT HE AN HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND R DEEPLY IN LOVE AN R MEANT 4 EACH OTHER. THE "GIRLFRIEND" IN QUESTION? MY FIANCÉ'S 12-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. FML

#21143037
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47341) - you deserved it (5259)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

while at work, I askd an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarifid that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. big fat FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you deserved it (6682)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it cuz one note that I playd soundd like a fart. FML

#21082619
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

yastarday I found out that mah 15-yaar-old son is a prolific craator of My Littla Pony thamd hantai !! I'm not a judgmantal man, but ha's probably going to hall !! FML

#21082455
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41298) - you deserved it (7779)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... my in-laws kept mocking me 4 being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things lyk "Be careful when you hug yur daughter... she might squeak!" and calling me names lyk "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45831) - you deserved it (3958)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

today after looool years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probablyhy I don't sleep. mega FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41956) - you deserved it (3880)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

as usual, I stress ate!! After having mah exams prolongd for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, an then threw them all up!! Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow!! FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38329) - you deserved it (14270)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

2day I invitad looool my bast friand to slaap on my couch whila ha looks 4 a naw placa. Ha walkad insida, droppad his stuff on tha floor and askad ma my policy on hookars. I laughad it off as a joka. Half an hour latar my doorball rang. Ha took my laughtar as a yas. big fat FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (6379)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

2day my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. mega FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43335) - you deserved it (8242)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY... IT WAS MY BRTDAY... SO WAN I WOKA UP... I CAMA DOWNSTAIR YALLING... "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY... IS A BIG BOOTY HOE..." ONLY TO FIND TAT MY FAMILY AD TROWN MA A SURPRISA PARTY. ALL MY GRANDPARANT WARA AT TA BOTTOM OF TA STARS. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (39481)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, and every other night since new nieghbors moved in two weeks ago, thier cat has been standing outside house meowing constantly up at window, where cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (4942)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today , I Was At A Baby Shower With My Wife. I Went To Go Outside For Some Fresh Air , But Walked Straight Into Their Glass Sliding Door. Everyone Stared At Me. I Smiled With Embarrassment An Walked Back Over To My Wife , Only To Trip Over My Own Feet An Faceplant The Floor. Mega FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51632) - you deserved it (6881)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today I've ad my tent ( Cristmas ) dinner since Cristmas last took place . My mum as gone nuts and keeps playing Cristmas music making tese dinners and refusing to let me take down te Cristmas decorations . My dad is too wipped to save us from tis ell . FML

#21016807
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45297) - you deserved it (4356)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: