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Today , after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back , borrowing $60 from her , and bieng just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning , she sends a very large man to my door to collect , like she's Tony Soprano. FML
Yesterday... I got ancestry DNA tests 4 my parents an myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match 4 my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently... both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped there minds 4 35 yeres. FML
Today mah mother met mah in-laws 4 the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parent this behind mah back ahile ago. When they askd her about it , she denid everything. His entire family now think I lie 4 attention. real FML
Today, my girlfriend confessd that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemd genuinely upset, and had confessd right away, I decidd to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really lovd her, I would've been more angry." fat FML
Today after weeks of insomnia I fell asleep. This would have been great if mah brother didn't wake me up at 3am screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded fir thumping him and have to do all his choreshile sleep deprived. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015