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50 favourites
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Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (2460)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States
Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (2805)
On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52128) - you deserved it (6807)
On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41625) - you deserved it (2803)
On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (3410)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (10485)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (3734)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (3123)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48522) - you deserved it (3777)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (2320)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (3323)
On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (4714)
On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54173) - you deserved it (14177)
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (9401)
On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48791) - you deserved it (4439)
On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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