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X_Thug_X_LIFE's favorite FMLs
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
by kprince / 05/08/2013 at 10:00am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation
by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
by longsock123 / 04/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
by random / 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Beth / 04/28/2013 at 9:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by BIGCHEIFAAA / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by iLynz / 04/23/2013 at 2:34am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube… Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during…