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XZero

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XZero

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XZero's page activity

Visits<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:33am<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:08am<b>Success4444</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:21pm<b>Phaolin</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 1:38pm<b>thunderdome41</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 4:37am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 09/30/2010 at 3:49am<b>Princess994</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 3:51am

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XZero's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (59647)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (20903)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45954) - you deserved it (14699)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

#13252849
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (2816)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm - money - by thankspops - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (38723)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (12754)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (12754)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (38166)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (3923)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15930) - you deserved it (20191)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (9427)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

#9017056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15986) - you deserved it (2500)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4669) - you deserved it (71124)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12487) - you deserved it (47738)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

#5679809
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12908) - you deserved it (42554)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



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