Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XZero

Search for a member

XZero

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 957
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

XZero's page activity

Visits<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:33am<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:08am<b>Success4444</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:21pm<b>Phaolin</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 1:38pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:19am<b>thunderdome41</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 4:37am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 09/30/2010 at 3:49am<b>Princess994</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 3:51am

XZero's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

XZero's favorite FMLs

today I went shopping with my new ( It's true, I'm a Ninja ) shrt on . Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye . A little boy runs up to me, yells ( You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that! ), and runs off . FML

#13756412
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (59882)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked boyfriend in a sexy way "Wat sould we do now, oney?" He answered, "Suck dick?" I said "I was tinking of someting more... romantic." He replied "Suck dick in te moonligt?" FML

#13432324
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (21487)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

TODAY , BOYFRIEND FOUND OUT I HAVE OCD. WHEN I TOUCH SOMETHING WITH ONE HAND I HAVE TO TOUCH IT WITH THE OTHER OR I FREAK. AFTER I BRUSHED HIS FACE WITH THE BACK OF HAND HE TACKLED ME TO THE FLOOR , HELD ME DOWN , AN LAUGHED AT ME WHILE I PANICKED AN TRIED TO TOUCH HIM WITH OTHER HAND. FML

#13351667
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46229) - you deserved it (14731)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out tat te $200 a week I was paying my dad fir my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. looool How did I find out e wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

#13252849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (2914)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm - money - by thankspops - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like!! Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave downstars!! We were sitting on a towel and I laid down!! Then he said, "Is there a squrrel in yur pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (40006)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28307) - you deserved it (12791)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28307) - you deserved it (12791)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at dinner, mah grandmother informd us that mah cousin's newborn baby has been having siezures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replid, ( It's not a siezure if your shaking it. ) FML

#12978436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8489) - you deserved it (38338)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

2day my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping , she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny , causing a lot of people to stare in our drection. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was giving mah boyfriend head . I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking mah neck loudly, and had to stophile the pain settld down . FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16022) - you deserved it (20296)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I was wereing mah yoga pants 4 mah boyfriend. He's infatuatd with them. He claim they make mah ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe an it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him an his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (9654)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

TODAY, I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO MAH SISTER Y IT'S UNHYGIENIC, SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE AN DOWNRIGHT INAPPROPRIATE TO APPLY THRUSH OINTMENT IN THE LOUNGE ROOM. I REALISED I WASN'T GETTING THROUGH TO HER WHEN SHE CALLED ME ''UPTIGHT,'' ''VICTORIAN" AN ''PRUDISH'' TO NAME A FEW. FML

#9017056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17345) - you deserved it (2639)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, I WAS WATCHING TV. DURING A VERY LONG COMMERCIAL BREAK, I FOUND MAH BROTHERS PSP CHARGER NEXT TO ME. OUT OF BOREDOM I PUTTD MAH TONGUE ON THE END ON THE METAL. NOT ONLY DID IT FRY MAH TONGUE BUT FOUND ITS WAY TO MAH METAL FILLING IN MAH TOOTH. I NOW HAVE A SORE TONGUE AN A THROBBING TOOTHACHE. FML

#6803548
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4717) - you deserved it (71503)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today... I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing... somebody banged into the door an stuck there hand through. I yelled... "What... are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parent standing behind him. FML

#6792235
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13338) - you deserved it (47931)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today... I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me... so without thinking I picked it up an ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

#5679809
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (42735)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: