XZero

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XZero

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1233
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XZero's page activity

Visits<b>mikkyNZ</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 5:12am<b>lainlain</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:55pm<b>grajax</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Unknown939</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:43pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:33am<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:08am<b>Success4444</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:21pm<b>Phaolin</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 1:38pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:19am<b>thunderdome41</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 4:37am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 09/30/2010 at 3:49am<b>Princess994</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 3:51am

XZero's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

XZero's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

by thankspops / 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

by Claire / 09/29/2010 at 1:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

by neckcrack / 09/07/2010 at 6:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

by cameltoeyourface / 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

by 1378 / 03/12/2010 at 3:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

by Shocked / 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

by Mike / 12/17/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

by ticked / 10/06/2009 at 9:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health