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XTHEPREDATORX

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XTHEPREDATORX
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XTHEPREDATORX's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50454) - you deserved it (3364)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64574) - you deserved it (9732)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (3736)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (3127)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (14025)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (1246)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (3124)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (1911)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (3447)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46221) - you deserved it (3789)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (39654)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46696) - you deserved it (2883)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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