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XTHEPREDATORX

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XTHEPREDATORX

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Visits<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 11:29am

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XTHEPREDATORX's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (14107)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

#13777488
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (6648)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by redlips - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

#13756349
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (2396)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (3034)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (3522)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (6729)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (4283)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (5860)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

#13153251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (3838)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

#13145609
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (5886)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

#13102808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35021) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/18/2010 at 7:13pm - love - by fmldailyyy - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (12037)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I crawled into bed naked, wanting to get some and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass and said 'oh' then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

#13069724
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31746) - you deserved it (5410)

On 09/16/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by bonesniffer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

#13037540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (3844)

On 09/13/2010 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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