Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XTHEPREDATORX

Search for a member

XTHEPREDATORX

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1167
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

XTHEPREDATORX's page activity

Visits<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 11:29am

XTHEPREDATORX's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

XTHEPREDATORX's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (4178)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (11083)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

#14608702
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (3305) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

#14502012
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8813) - you deserved it (27119)

On 01/07/2011 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18564) - you deserved it (22270)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

#14341625
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9549) - you deserved it (36217)

On 12/26/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to my long-distance boyfriend's party. His best friend was talking to me and trying to make conversation, he asked, "So, are you two official?" I responded with a definite yes, but was cut off mid-word by my boyfriend, who quickly said, "No, not really." Sorry, I wasn't aware, darling. FML

#14329379
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (3814)

On 12/24/2010 at 11:59pm - love - by xrebeccalou (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37443) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10963) - you deserved it (31856)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML

#14202689
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (9371)

On 12/14/2010 at 2:10pm - work - by melly (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

#14185892
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (4690)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42022) - you deserved it (4763)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

#14139817
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (3694)

On 12/09/2010 at 4:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42141) - you deserved it (3508)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

#14059634
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6019) - you deserved it (39398)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: