XTHEPREDATORX

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XTHEPREDATORX

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  • Number of visits : 1757
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XTHEPREDATORX's page activity

Visits<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 11:29am

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XTHEPREDATORX's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

by ApparentlyNotEno / 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

by WOWBear / 06/05/2013 at 5:46am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

by TooSunnyForSkin / 06/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Holidays

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

by uglynerd / 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm / United States / Love

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous