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XTHEPREDATORX

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XTHEPREDATORX

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Visits<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 11:29am

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XTHEPREDATORX's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59920) - you deserved it (11856)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (8062)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (5541)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44255) - you deserved it (8696)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66079) - you deserved it (9150)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50066) - you deserved it (4966)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54988) - you deserved it (64099)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55851) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52343) - you deserved it (2942)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50732) - you deserved it (3465)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

#20709553
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52907) - you deserved it (10638)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Senegal

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46989) - you deserved it (3955)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48958) - you deserved it (3084)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)



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