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XPhoenixFire

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XPhoenixFire

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About XPhoenixFire : Im just a sarcastic bird

XPhoenixFire's page activity

Visits<b>goody1987</b> - yesterday at 10:35pm<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:34pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:15pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:36am<b>MrBoredomioo</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:48am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:05pm<b>gingaa96</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Atomicial</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:28pm<b>DaBigFro</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:54am<b>Mike_Sweatpants</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:53am<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 4:38pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Z_1235</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:57pm<b>captaininouille</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:30pm<b>kyle23011</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:25am

XPhoenixFire's FML badges

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of XPhoenixFire's badges

XPhoenixFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33970) - you deserved it (4668)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (4696)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41590) - you deserved it (7251)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

#21186073
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (5006)

On 06/24/2014 at 12:35am - love - by over prtective father (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (7359)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59626) - you deserved it (13542)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (245) - you deserved it (18565)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (6636)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (4571)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43151) - you deserved it (6041)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41407) - you deserved it (4265)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (4260)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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