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XPhoenixFire

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XPhoenixFire

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1291
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About XPhoenixFire : Im just a sarcastic bird

XPhoenixFire's page activity

Visits<b>AllThatXO</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:56am<b>PeaceTurtle</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Nymphetamatrix</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Lavakins1</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:06pm<b>TakDatWitU</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 10:48pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:42am<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:53pm<b>thedevilspawn</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:37pm<b>MaybeMoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:58pm<b>3051628</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:11am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:47am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:43am<b>Fryppe</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:35pm<b>goody1987</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:35pm<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:34pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:15pm

Liked!<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:42pm

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XPhoenixFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (2641)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (25117)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (11472)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37222) - you deserved it (4997)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42679) - you deserved it (4923)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42809) - you deserved it (7383)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

#21186073
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (5128)

On 06/24/2014 at 12:35am - love - by over prtective father (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53905) - you deserved it (7364)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59813) - you deserved it (13567)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (305) - you deserved it (18714)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42072) - you deserved it (6640)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)



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