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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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XCaLX

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XCaLX

About XCaLX : I am a guy named cal who has no idea what op is so fml lol im a klutz so i have lots of fmls i shuld post but im not gunna rite now mab latah

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XCaLX's favorite FMLs

 Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

#12621372 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (47379) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/19/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by divorced - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (7408)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (3172) - you deserved it (43959)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

#8519480 (475)

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (1945)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52114) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at Wal Mart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide & seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As i was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (3283)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (44934) - you deserved it (4450)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (361040)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (98607) - you deserved it (14095)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (7448) - you deserved it (95662)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104 (986)

I agree, your life sucks (48716) - you deserved it (274133)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)