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Wushii

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Wushii

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  • Number of visits : 22
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Wushii's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Wushii's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (5989)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (18118)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18618) - you deserved it (2118)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (2946)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (5865)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (5650)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30357) - you deserved it (4645)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68062) - you deserved it (6258)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85564) - you deserved it (5115)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65454) - you deserved it (11942)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (92804)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35690) - you deserved it (305226)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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