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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Wreckless's favorite FMLs
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy
by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
by Eve / 06/24/2011 at 6:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by veggiepower11028 / 05/31/2011 at 8:02am / Love
by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
by purrykitty / 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
- Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw… Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me… Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town,…