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Wooness

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Wooness

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1289
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Wooness's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Wooness's favorite FMLs

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (2583)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53757) - you deserved it (4886)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50256) - you deserved it (3356)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59403) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50577) - you deserved it (11435)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59767) - you deserved it (8563)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52144) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58506) - you deserved it (67403)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61981) - you deserved it (6086)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50428) - you deserved it (4219)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63211) - you deserved it (3157)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69957) - you deserved it (19804)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (49542)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)



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