Wooness

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Wooness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2799
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Wooness's page activity

Visits<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:11am

Wooness's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Wooness's badges

Wooness's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

by noweddingforyou / 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML

by cheese / 09/26/2013 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

by chinaski7628 / 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

by Crazy Crazy Crazy / 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML