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Wooness

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Wooness
  • Town/Country : Dallas, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 248
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Wooness's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48581) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52825) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (2623)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31212) - you deserved it (3056) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I filed my taxes. As a divorcée with children, I was supposed to get $3,500 back from the IRS. Alas, my ex's new wife already filed with my children, who don't live with her. I now owe the IRS $250. FML

#15708365
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34855) - you deserved it (3256)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:07pm - money - by fuckmylifeLulu - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67717) - you deserved it (14662)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (8138)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML

#14616204
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38023) - you deserved it (2979) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML

#14251637
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Dopeboyfresh71 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94190) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14501) - you deserved it (29777)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70726) - you deserved it (3924)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25229)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53956) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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