Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Wooness

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Wooness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 833
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Wooness's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Wooness's badges

Wooness's favorite FMLs

Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, mah friends and I held an intervention for mah fiancé. He's been talking and behaving lyk an ( old-timey cowboy ) non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept looool his ( life choices. ) FML

#20149952
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2day mah daughtar callad ma talling ma sha had har twin girls. Sha namad tham Juli and Anna. Har nama is Julianna. Har kids r going to fucking hata har. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I Had To Eat Mah Breakfast In Terrified Silence, As Mah Hungover Mother Staggered Into The Room, Shouted At The Kettle 4 Not Boiling Fast Enough, And After A Few Seconds, Screamed That I'd Sabotaged It. I'm Now Grounded 4 Supposedly Trying To Fuck With Her Head. FML

#20113953
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (1376)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today , as I was about to leave fir work , mah 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear an pink cowboy boots . He threw his hands in the air , yelled , ( BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE , ) promptly threw up an passed out in it .

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (4003)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew . FML

#20100511
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (1731)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

2day I'm hiding from my creepy next-door nieghbor!! She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, an she drunkenly trid to make out with me last weekend!! I'm two months older than her daughter!! FML

#20090653
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (1394)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States

yesterday a guy I've been seeing for ahile sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clickd the link just to see wat sick shit he wantd to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59695) - you deserved it (3067)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I'm quite ill . My new step-mother believes that the geneticheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead . Looks lyk dad picked a winner . FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (1515)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

TODAY, I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO MY TEACHER THAT CZECHOSLOVAKIA IS NO LONGER A COUNTRY . SHE KICKED ME OUT OF CLASS WHEN SHE FOUND OUT I WAS RIGHT . BIG FAT FML

#20049540
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (1733)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date mah hateful mother slips laxatives into mah food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33078) - you deserved it (3660)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday , I was at the gym , when a pretty overweight guy startd staring an eventually taunting me. Let me tell you , lines such as ( Lay off the cake , fatty! ) an ( I can see yur gut hanging out yur ass , fir fuck's sake! ) don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

#20026361
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (2402)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

my fiancée showd me her wedding plans. It will be themd on one of her video games , the best man will be dressd as an alien warlord , and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessd by the ( Goddess Kalahra ). Apparently , I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (5448)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, yet again, I had to dye hair brown in advance of the new school year, because school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if thier natural. FML

#20018767
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (1974)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

today my wife yelled at me fir admitting I take my wedding ring off at work . I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it . She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope . FML

#20010086
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (3501)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: