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Wooness

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Wooness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 543
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Wooness's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

#20113953
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (1320)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (3992)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28821) - you deserved it (1726)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (1387)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59539) - you deserved it (3063)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28296) - you deserved it (1511)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (1731)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

#20026361
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (2268)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

#19974193
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (2127)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)



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