Wontonmon

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Offline (the 12/05/2014 at 5:18am)

Wontonmon

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mobility

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Wontonmon's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

by whyme_ss / 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous