WonkeyDonkey

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Offline (the 09/29/2016 at 5:05pm)

WonkeyDonkey

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 May 1973 (43 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 889
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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WonkeyDonkey's page activity

Visits<b>amiraa</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 3:56pm<b>wonderbread756</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 4:46pm<b>PrincessWinter</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 10:57am<b>saxaddict122</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 9:01am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:21pm<b>FireIceMan99</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:39am<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 2:14pm<b>B4m1337</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 2:21pm<b>dyousif214</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 10:20am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 12:00pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 10:24pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 8:00pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 9:00am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 4:10pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 2:40pm<b>floup</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:25pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:16am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 12:49pm

WonkeyDonkey's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of WonkeyDonkey's badges

WonkeyDonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML

by drkate25 / 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

by regstl / 06/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

by pool party / 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

by really? / 05/28/2013 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy